What would you miss?

Someone asked today on the TTGP boards what we'd miss most when we got pregnant.  This, by far.

Musings on the even bigger O

It looks like I did O this month (/whew), and my money's on CD17.  We'll see what FF has to say about that.  If I did I on CD17, our timing may have been good.  We had sex on CD15 with kinda-fertile CM.  And then sex again on CD17.  Again with kinda-fertile CM.  I wonder if my allergy meds are screwing with my EWCM, because the other girls seem to have it in spades and I saw a measly 2 days of it.  But maybe I'm just not checking diligently enough.

There's this part of me that panics, and thinks we're going to be *that* couple that tries for 2 years to get pregnant and eventually gets a puppy and puts sweaters on it.  But then there's also a part of me that is totally sure that this cycle is THE cycle. 

I just don't want to set myself up for disappointment.  I need to stop doing things like finding out what my EDD would be (1/20/2011), based on when I'm pretty sure I O'd.  There's no way I'll be able to stop myself from doing this though.  Every month. 

On a majorly happy note, I ran into a girl on the TTGP message boards who is married to an old college friend.  After months and months of trying, they got their BFP yesterday.  I am so, SO happy for them.  They deserve it.  It makes me wonder - if I do get pregnant within the first few cycles, will I feel like I don't "deserve it"?  Some of those girls have been through hell and back for YEARS trying for their LO.  I wonder if I'm strong enough for that.

Charting

This is my first month charting, and let me just say - it's not easy to figure out.  I keep staring at the chart, trying to figure it out.  Like somehow if I keep looking, it'll make more sense.  So I keep looking.  And it doesn't.  My temps are staying low, and I'm starting to worry that I just won't ovulate.  And if I do, does that mean I have a scary short Luteal Phase? Shorter than 10 days is "too short to sustain pregnancy", or so I've heard. 

Charting is great - it gives you a really clear picture of what's going on with your body - but what happens when that picture isn't good?  At least you know, I guess...

Fingers crossed for O'ing today!

It begins...

Today is our first official day of TTC.  I think this cycle is probably a wash, since I'm either gearing up to O or already did - but making the decision to start feels pretty huge.

When we got married, we initially thought we'd wait to start trying for kids.  Tom wanted a few years.  We amended that down to 6 months for a slew of reasons.  But then with all of the health issues that have arisen, thoughts, opinions, and priorities change.  So plans change too.