Musings on the even bigger O

It looks like I did O this month (/whew), and my money's on CD17.  We'll see what FF has to say about that.  If I did I on CD17, our timing may have been good.  We had sex on CD15 with kinda-fertile CM.  And then sex again on CD17.  Again with kinda-fertile CM.  I wonder if my allergy meds are screwing with my EWCM, because the other girls seem to have it in spades and I saw a measly 2 days of it.  But maybe I'm just not checking diligently enough.

There's this part of me that panics, and thinks we're going to be *that* couple that tries for 2 years to get pregnant and eventually gets a puppy and puts sweaters on it.  But then there's also a part of me that is totally sure that this cycle is THE cycle. 

I just don't want to set myself up for disappointment.  I need to stop doing things like finding out what my EDD would be (1/20/2011), based on when I'm pretty sure I O'd.  There's no way I'll be able to stop myself from doing this though.  Every month. 

On a majorly happy note, I ran into a girl on the TTGP message boards who is married to an old college friend.  After months and months of trying, they got their BFP yesterday.  I am so, SO happy for them.  They deserve it.  It makes me wonder - if I do get pregnant within the first few cycles, will I feel like I don't "deserve it"?  Some of those girls have been through hell and back for YEARS trying for their LO.  I wonder if I'm strong enough for that.