Monday, May 14, 2012

Boy am I in arrears...

I know I owe you a dare.  I know!  We've just moved, and my life is a mess, but I will absolutely follow through.  Your patience is much appreciated (see what I did there?  Passive-Aggressively told you to be patient, Megan!)

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Dare....

Fear not, blogging honesty fans.  I WILL be completing my dare, and you'll read all about it on Thursday!

Monday, April 30, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 30


Day 30 — One question or subject matter if I were asked here on 30 Days of Blogging Honesty I know I would refuse to answer or definitely lie about is…

I hate to end this on a boring note.  But I fail to see the point in lying, especially in my own blog.  I've created this space to pour my heart into.  Why lie?


When I dig a bit deeper, I suppose I wouldn't answer anything that would implicate me or someone I love in a crime.  I guess that's the criminalist in me (what little is left after too many years of another line of work).




Thank you for joining me in this journey of honesty.  I've learned so much about so many.  I hope you've learned a little something about me.


Full List of Participants for the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty (and 1 dare)
Cherlyn Cochrane, Jenn MikoLJ, Melanie, Last Civilized Woman, Princesa Musang, Primadonna Zel, Caroline, Koi, Aurathena, Terriblethinker, Sleep and Salami, Marliz3e, Prysmatique, DLonelyStarAnonymousBurn, Nicole, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Bannatreasures, Sajeev, HappyhippieroseTheFerkel, Tom Baker, *Sofia, *Everything Love & Lust, *TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 29


Day 29 — My television is showing the same show on every channel. I really don’t mind watching ____________ (from the 1960′s) and I really love this show because…

 Who didn't love Dragnet?  It was the granddaddy of all things crime-drama.  Without Dragnet, would we have an audience who hungers for the L&O's of the world?  The CSI's?  I think not.


I think what really drew me into Dragnet was the "Just the Facts"ness.  It wasn't about sensationalizing to increase viewership.  You saw the inner workings of the squad room, which weren't always very exciting.  At the same time, Friday and Gannon were handling teen crime, LSD, and race riots.  And let's not forget community outreach and officers' personal lives.


Dragnet was brilliant.  A masterpiece.  It was (and is!) the standard against which all crime dramas are measured up.


Full List of Participants for the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty (and 1 dare)
Cherlyn Cochrane, Jenn MikoLJ, Melanie, Last Civilized Woman, Princesa Musang, Primadonna Zel, Caroline, Koi, Aurathena, Terriblethinker, Sleep and Salami, Marliz3e, Prysmatique, DLonelyStarAnonymousBurn, Nicole, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Bannatreasures, Sajeev, HappyhippieroseTheFerkel, Tom Baker, *Sofia, *Everything Love & Lust, *TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 28


Day 28 — If I could do one thing that is socially unacceptable and know I would not be judged, I would…

Sleep.  I would sleep for DAYS.  I wouldn't shower, I wouldn't get dressed, I wouldn't spend my precious time off work with my loving family - I'd SLEEP.  And when I was done sleeping, I'd get a pedicure, I'd read a book, I'd watch a movie, and then I'd go back to sleep.

As a busy working mom, all I want in life is time that is just mine.  I see those judging looks as I drop my son off at daycare on my obvious day off.  Shut it!  I deserve it!






Full List of Participants for the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty (and 1 dare)
Cherlyn Cochrane, Jenn MikoLJ, Melanie, Last Civilized Woman, Princesa Musang, Primadonna Zel, Caroline, Koi, Aurathena, Terriblethinker, Sleep and Salami, Marliz3e, Prysmatique, DLonelyStarAnonymousBurn, Nicole, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Bannatreasures, Sajeev, HappyhippieroseTheFerkel, Tom Baker, *Sofia, *Everything Love & Lust, *TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

Friday, April 27, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 27


Day 27 — I have an inner voice, and if a friend spoke to me the way my inner voice does at times, I would…

I would have to call her Megan.


Seriously.  She's my outer-inner voice.  She grounds me.  She tells me what I want to hear when I need to hear it, and she tells me what I need to hear even when I don't want to hear it.  Still with me?  She is.

Full List of Participants for the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty (and 1 dare)
Cherlyn Cochrane, Jenn MikoLJ, Melanie, Last Civilized Woman, Princesa Musang, Primadonna Zel, Caroline, Koi, Aurathena, Terriblethinker, Sleep and Salami, Marliz3e, Prysmatique, DLonelyStarAnonymousBurn, Nicole, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Bannatreasures, Sajeev, HappyhippieroseTheFerkel, Tom Baker, *Sofia, *Everything Love & Lust, *TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 26

Day 26 — I would break the law to save a loved one if…

I would do anything - anything at all - to save a loved one if that loved one were my son.

I am NOT a lawbreaker by nature.  I almost cried the other day as I drove through a school parking lot to get around a road closure, and I only think that's illegal.  For YEARS, I wouldn't drive through a parking space to another parking space, because I was pretty sure it was illegal (I still think it is.  I only do it when my husband makes me.).

I exist on the straight and narrow, so the thought of lawbreaking fills me with anxiety.  I'm insanely driven to do the right thing.   I'll take the long path to avoid walking on someone's grass.  I'll wait in a line twelve shoppers deep if I don't actually have "10 items or less."


So there's really only one thing that could change my deep seated (if a bit shallow) morality.  This guy:


Luckily, this hasn't come up (yet). 


Full List of Participants for the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty (and 1 dare)
Cherlyn Cochrane, Jenn MikoLJ, Melanie, Last Civilized Woman, Princesa Musang, Primadonna Zel, Caroline, Koi, Aurathena, Terriblethinker, Sleep and Salami, Marliz3e, Prysmatique, DLonelyStarAnonymousBurn, Nicole, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Bannatreasures, Sajeev, HappyhippieroseTheFerkel, Tom Baker, *Sofia, *Everything Love & Lust, *TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 25


Day 25 — My biggest pet peeve that has nothing to do with blogging, being online, computers or anything else related to the Internet is…

Hmmm... Small talkLyingDrunken idiocy?  Nah, I've said enough about those...

I have soooo many pet peeves.  It's almost impossible to choose the biggest.  Noisy eaters, rude people, overly friendly people, people who touch babies, bad drivers, loud talkers, people with no concept of personal space, and this list could go on all day.  I guess it boils down to this:

My biggest pet peeve is having to interact with people who interfere with my grand plans to lead an irritant-free life.  There you have it.  I'm your classic misanthrope.





Full List of Participants for the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty (and 1 dare)
Cherlyn Cochrane, Jenn MikoLJ, Melanie, Last Civilized Woman, Princesa Musang, Primadonna Zel, Caroline, Koi, Aurathena, Terriblethinker, Sleep and Salami, Marliz3e, Prysmatique, DLonelyStarAnonymousBurn, Nicole, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Bannatreasures, Sajeev, HappyhippieroseTheFerkel, Tom Baker, *Sofia, *Everything Love & Lust, *TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 24


Day 24 — Given the choice between having to live the rest of my life without my voice, or living the rest of my life without the ability to hear, I would choose…


Ahhhhh I hate these.  This is just like the unlimited time/unlimited money post.

Selfish me wants to say that I would rather hear.  I want to hear my little boy tell me he loves me for the first time.  I want to hear every story he wants to tell.  I want him to feel heard.

But Mama me knows that I'd infinitely rather he hear how much I love him.  


And I'm left to wonder how I'd answer these questions were I not a mother.  Do I have opinions anymore that aren't tied to the rest of my son's life?

Full List of Participants for the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty (and 1 dare)
Cherlyn Cochrane, Jenn MikoLJ, Melanie, Last Civilized Woman, Princesa Musang, Primadonna Zel, Caroline, Koi, Aurathena, Terriblethinker, Sleep and Salami, Marliz3e, Prysmatique, DLonelyStarAnonymousBurn, Nicole, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Bannatreasures, Sajeev, HappyhippieroseTheFerkel, Tom Baker, *Sofia, *Everything Love & Lust, *TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

Monday, April 23, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 23


Day 23 — Allowing another person to fully love me means I must…


Accept that their choices are their own.  I can only be me - the rest is up to them.  Allowing another person to fully love me means I must give up control.

Scary....


Full List of Participants for the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty (and 1 dare)
Cherlyn Cochrane, Jenn MikoLJ, Melanie, Last Civilized Woman, Princesa Musang, Primadonna Zel, Caroline, Koi, Aurathena, Terriblethinker, Sleep and Salami, Marliz3e, Prysmatique, DLonelyStarAnonymousBurn, Nicole, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Bannatreasures, Sajeev, HappyhippieroseTheFerkel, Tom Baker, *Sofia, *Everything Love & Lust, *TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 22


Day 22 — Allowing another person to fully love me means they must…


Accept all of the worst parts of me.  A relationship with a man that I truly loved ended because of my emotional baggage.  I can't say that I'm sorry it happened - it was, after all, part of how I came to be the woman I am today, married to the man I'm married to, and mother of a child that is the absolute light of my life.  I'm happy with these choices, but I'll put them aside for a moment, just for the sake of this question.

My ex was a simple guy.  No mind games.  He loved me, I loved him.  He wanted to be with me, I wanted to be with him.  We did these things together, we did those things separately, there really isn't much more to hope for in a happy relationship.  Just acceptance.

That's where he struggled.

I've dealt with anxiety and depression for most of my life.  When I don't treat my anxiety and depression, I also start to have some manic episodes.  The best way to describe it is that when life is good, I can't get enough of it.  Eating, sleeping, sitting still - these are time wasters, to be avoided at all costs.  During those times, I stay up all night cleaning an already-clean house, grocery shop at least once or twice every day, and buy insane amounts of clothes that aren't my size and I have no intention of wearing.

It never lasts though.  Because when life isn't good, I sink down very, very low.  I cry.  All. The. Time.  I don't want to get out of bed, I don't want to be IN bed, I just despise myself and my own skin.

It's a rollercoaster.  I don't know how anyone deals with it, but my ex wasn't able to, and so he found himself unable to continue loving such a damaged girl.  This was the biggest heartbreak of my life, but it was his choice.  To love someone fully, you must accept them at their very worst, and he couldn't.

It's not impossible.  It's just so, so hard.  But years later, I fund the man who could, and did.  And you know what?  He's not so perfect either.




Full List of Participants for the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty (and 1 dare)
Cherlyn Cochrane, Jenn MikoLJ, Melanie, Last Civilized Woman, Princesa Musang, Primadonna Zel, Caroline, Koi, Aurathena, Terriblethinker, Sleep and Salami, Marliz3e, Prysmatique, DLonelyStarAnonymousBurn, Nicole, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Bannatreasures, Sajeev, HappyhippieroseTheFerkel, Tom Baker, *Sofia, *Everything Love & Lust, *TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 21

Day 21 –  The person or persons that do not read my blog but I wish he/she/they would is…

My husband!  I would eagerly read his, if he had one.  I love his mind and the way it works, even if it happens to be the thing driving me insane that day.  So if we're being honest, it hurts a little that he knows that I blog but doesn't read (either of them!). 


Full List of Participants for the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty (and 1 dare)
Cherlyn Cochrane, Jenn MikoLJ, Melanie, Last Civilized Woman, Princesa Musang, Primadonna Zel, Caroline, Koi, Aurathena, Terriblethinker, Sleep and Salami, Marliz3e, Prysmatique, DLonelyStarAnonymousBurn, Nicole, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Bannatreasures, Sajeev, HappyhippieroseTheFerkel, Tom Baker, *Sofia, *Everything Love & Lust, *TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

Friday, April 20, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 20


Day 20 — I’m half naked, cold, tired, hungry, hurt, wet and just washed up on a deserted island. The first things I need to do to survive is…



Find help.  Seriously.  If I don't, I'm a goner.  I'm not "outdoorsy", I cannot take care of myself, and I probably lost my glasses in the plane crash/boat capsizing/whatever got me to that island.  It's not a pretty situation for little old me, and I'd better hope a rescuer meanders along pretty quickly.

Full List of Participants for the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty (and 1 dare)
Cherlyn Cochrane, Jenn MikoLJ, Melanie, Last Civilized Woman, Princesa Musang, Primadonna Zel, Caroline, Koi, Aurathena, Terriblethinker, Sleep and Salami, Marliz3e, Prysmatique, DLonelyStarAnonymousBurn, Nicole, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Bannatreasures, Sajeev, HappyhippieroseTheFerkel, Tom Baker, *Sofia, *Everything Love & Lust, *TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 19


Day 19 — The film that best describes how my day-to-day life feels is…

I puzzled over this one.  I haven't had the time to shower lately, much less decide what movie my life is like.  But rewind a few years, and I've got it.


 Aside from not being as pretty as Bella, and not knowing any vampires or werewolves, of course.  For the record, I picked my Edward.  Jacob is still around, weaving his way in and out of the story as he sees fit, but my choice was the right one.  And Aidan's way cuter than Renesmee.






Full List of Participants for the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty (and 1 dare)
Cherlyn Cochrane, Jenn MikoLJ, Melanie, Last Civilized Woman, Princesa Musang, Primadonna Zel, Caroline, Koi, Aurathena, Terriblethinker, Sleep and Salami, Marliz3e, Prysmatique, DLonelyStarAnonymousBurn, Nicole, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Bannatreasures, Sajeev, HappyhippieroseTheFerkel, Tom Baker, *Sofia, *Everything Love & Lust, *TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 18


Day 18 — I would agree or disagree that high school is/was the time of my life… Because…

Oh god.  Disagree.  No question about it.

It wasn't awful.  Well, it wasn't always awful.  I had some bullying problems in 10th grade.  To be entirely honest, I don't even know why - I went on vacation, I came home, and people hated me.  They said awful things to and about me.  I hated my life and, oftentimes, I hated myself.  I ate lunch with my history teacher and spent mornings listening to showtunes with my music teacher.

I started 11th grade at a new school, and nobody stopped me from wearing an oversized Fox Mulder t-shirt on my first day.  The other girls were wearing skimpy shorts and halter tops.  So things didn't get much better there.  The kids were nice enough to generally ignore me instead of being hateful little bastards, I got through it, and I haven't been back since graduation day.

So, dear god,  I hope those weren't the best years of my life...


Full List of Participants for the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty (and 1 dare)
Cherlyn Cochrane, Jenn MikoLJ, Melanie, Last Civilized Woman, Princesa Musang, Primadonna Zel, Caroline, Koi, Aurathena, Terriblethinker, Sleep and Salami, Marliz3e, Prysmatique, DLonelyStarAnonymousBurn, Nicole, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Bannatreasures, Sajeev, HappyhippieroseTheFerkel, Tom Baker, *Sofia, *Everything Love & Lust, *TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 17


Day 17 — There are many mysteries in the universe. If there were one truth I could learn, it would be…

Why, in a room that is 90% tile and 10% rug, have my cats puked on the rug 100% of the time?


Seriously.  This is the life mystery that I wonder most about.


Full List of Participants for the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty (and 1 dare)
Cherlyn Cochrane, Jenn MikoLJ, Melanie, Last Civilized Woman, Princesa Musang, Primadonna Zel, Caroline, Koi, Aurathena, Terriblethinker, Sleep and Salami, Marliz3e, Prysmatique, DLonelyStarAnonymousBurn, Nicole, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Bannatreasures, Sajeev, HappyhippieroseTheFerkel, Tom Baker, *Sofia, *Everything Love & Lust, *TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

Monday, April 16, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 16




Day 16 — I’ve just been granted the power of resurrection but I can only use it to bring back one dead celebrity. I would bring back ________ because… 

Nobody!  Zombies are not cool!

Seriously though, I guess I don't feel enough of a connection to any celebrity to want to bring them back.  Maybe this is a cop-out answer, but what good would it do?  And how would one even choose?  I think the energy that would go into bringing someone back should instead be used to further that person's life's work.  To ensure that their legacy lives on.  Do some good in Mother Theresa's name.  Spread some joy in memory of Frank Sinatra.  Or better yet - do what you can to help others because it feels right to you!  Screw zombie celebs!

Sunday, April 15, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 15



Day 15 — Given the choice between infinite time or infinite money, I would choose…

Ooh good question.  I see the pluses in both.

- I can go everywhere, do everything I ever want to do.
- I can make a real, lasting impact with my life.
- I would always, ALWAYS be there to care for my loved ones.  The sorrow of passing would be mine alone, not theirs.

But the money.  Ohhh, the money.


- Nothing is out of reach with enough money.
- I'd live comfortably and ensure that my children and their children did the same.
- I'd be able to give my son EVERYTHING he'd ever desire.  Not just toys and trips - though those are fabulous too - but with infinite money, I would have no need of fulltime work, and I could spend my days making his days fun, exciting, and safe.






I guess before I had Aidan, infinite time sounded awesome.  But now that I have him, infinite money is so much more attractive.  The ability to be there for and with him, pay for a beautiful home and the best medical care, and never worry about how to pay the bills again would win out.


Bring on the cash!

Full List of Participants for the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty (and 1 dare)
Cherlyn Cochrane, Jenn MikoLJ, Melanie, Last Civilized Woman, Princesa Musang, Primadonna Zel, Caroline, Koi, Aurathena, Terriblethinker, Sleep and Salami, Marliz3e, Prysmatique, DLonelyStarAnonymousBurn, Nicole, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Bannatreasures, Sajeev, HappyhippieroseTheFerkel, Tom Baker, *Sofia, *Everything Love & Lust, *TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 14



Day 14 — Because my parents never found out, I remember getting away with __________ as a teenager…

Oh dear.  Continuing with the "boring loser" theme here, eh?

I got away with nothing.  Mostly because I tried to get away with nothing.  I was no angel, to be sure.  I was a mouthy smart-aleck who drove my parents to the end of their respective ropes - but I knew the limits and had no interest in pushing them.  Not as a child, not as a teen, and certainly not as an adult.  


I'm overwhelmingly constant and dependable.  I do what I'm doing because that's what should be done.  I don't wish I could break the rules - because what purpose would that serve?  Maybe it helped that my parents were reasonable and fair, and so rules existed for the obvious purpose of keeping us safe.  Maybe it's just my rule-loving personality.  Maybe it's that I'm too meek for words.  Regardless, I pulled up this actual portrait of me as a child to help explain things.


Full List of Participants for the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty (and 1 dare)
Cherlyn Cochrane, Jenn MikoLJ, Melanie, Last Civilized Woman, Princesa Musang, Primadonna Zel, Caroline, Koi, Aurathena, Terriblethinker, Sleep and Salami, Marliz3e, Prysmatique, DLonelyStarAnonymousBurn, Nicole, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Bannatreasures, Sajeev, HappyhippieroseTheFerkel, Tom Baker, *Sofia, *Everything Love & Lust, *TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

Friday, April 13, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 13



Day 13 — I once got so drunk and lost control and this is what I was told I did and have no reason to doubt it…

Embarrassing confession time.  This has never happened.  I guess it's not so embarrassing now, but it didn't exactly make me popular in high school or college.

I will say, though, that I find myself looking down on adults who drink like teenagers.  I don't need alcohol to have a good time, why do you?  I enjoy a nice glass of wine or a cold, delicious beer - but one drink's almost always my limit.  

I suppose being tipsy is fun, but it's never worth how I feel the next day - and not just the hangover - but the shame of losing control of myself, even for an evening. I'm a little ashamed of how judgmental I am on this whole thing, but there it is.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 12


Day 12 — My favorite song to dance and sing to when no one is looking…

Not a song, but an entire CD...



 Roxette reminds me of my childhood - happy memories with my mom and brother.  It's upbeat, the words are easy to understand and remember, and the whole experience reminds me of excitement, beautiful weather, and being totally carefree.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 11


Day 11 — When I’ve had a really bad day the first thing (not person) I reach for is…



 


Food.  I eat my feelings.  Moo. Or should I say oink?







Really though, if not food, I guess my comforts are a long hot shower (washing away the stench of failure?), an afternoon of cleaning (at least I can do THAT right!), a nap (needs no explanation.)




I'm actually really looking forward to seeing what everyone else has to say...





Check it out: Cherlyn Cochrane, Aurathena, TheFerkel, A Single Parent’s Life, Lovelylici1986, Prysmatique, AnonymousBurn, Caroline, Koi, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Everything L&L, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Princesa Musang, DLonelyStar, TemptingSweets99, LJ, TerriblethinkerMarliz3e, Sleep and Salami, Primadonna Zel and Sofia.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 10


Day 10 — The last time I snooped into something I wasn’t supposed to (like a medicine cabinet in a friend’s bathroom), I found…

Oh.  Oh dear.  This probably wasn't the "last time" I snooped.  Maybe closer to the first time.

I was perhaps ten.  My mother was away, probably for work, and her best friend was housesitting.  One day, I was sick, and asked to stay home from school.  Mom's friend did the responsible thing, and took me to work with her (who leaves a ten year old home alone?).  She worked at a hotel and lived in a room there.  I was supposed to nap the day away while watching Disney movies.  ("Bottom Drawer!" she said.)

Sifting through the bottom drawer revealed nothing that caught my eye.  So I widened the search.  Guess what isn't in the middle drawer.  More Disney movies.  Guess what IS in the middle drawer...

P-O-R-N


You heard me. 


I was horrified.  I was embarrassed.  I was confused.  Magazines, videos, "toys."  Each thing more confusing and unidentifiable than the last.


I don't snoop anymore.  It's just not worth it.

Monday, April 9, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 9

Day 09 — When the cashier gives me this amount of money for change I know it’s too much money to dump in the charity bucket…

Okay, so, I'm an a-hole here.  I don't give my change to charity.  Not $5, not 5 cents.  

It's not for lack of being charitable - honestly, there are some really worthwhile organizations out there.  I just prefer to choose them for myself, and give in the way I feel most comfortable.
 
Most recently, I came across an organization called Tubie Friends.  They provide stuffed animals with feeding tubes to children with feeding tubes.  With my son's inevitable move toward becoming a tubie himself, this organization really tugged at my heartstrings.  I've found ways to give to that organization and I'm happy to do it.  But a nondescript jar by a cash register?  Not my style.


And just in case you're interested in helping that particular cause, here it is.  It takes so very little to do so very much good. 

Sunday, April 8, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 8


Day 08 — If I could afford it, the piece of famous artwork you would find in my home is…

I am mortified to say that I couldn't care less about art.  I even took an art history class in college, thinking it would spark something.  It didn't, I'm indifferent, and I think museums are boring.  Artwork on walls just feels like clutter to me.

If I could hang anything in the world, it would be whatever masterpiece my son poured his heart into most recently. 

Saturday, April 7, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 7


Day 07 — I went to see a psychic, and was given the opportunity to ask three questions – I would ask……

1) Does my baby grow up to be happy?  Really, that's sort of all I care about these days.  I'm so afraid that decisions I make now will make him miserable later on.  And, to be sure, they will - but I hope it's the "I'm miserable because you posted too many pictures of yourself smooching my smoochable cheeks on facebook" stuff, and not the "I'm miserable because I'm ever so emotionally damaged thanks to your atrocious parenting" stuff.


2) Is buying this house going to financially ruin us?  We think we can afford it.  We're pretty sure we can afford it.  But I can't help but feel like the other shoe will drop at some point.  Home ownership has always felt so unattainable that it feels like we're doing something wrong by embarking on this journey.


3) Will I ever be happy again?  Life isn't very happy right now.  I hope this is more of a bump in the road than the new normal.  I adore my husband and son, but life in general is crushing the air out of my lungs every day.

Friday, April 6, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 6


Day 06 — My worst cooking disaster involved _____________ and this person/these people…

Gosh, coming up with a "worst" anything is so hard.  

Many weeks ago, Megan came by to cook.  It's a habit that we've fallen into, and I love it, but it was still pretty new at the time.  She brought all sorts of allergy-friendly ingredients, and we were making brownies.  My job?  Melt the chocolate.  My tools?  A bowl, some chocolate, and the microwave.  The result?  Totally scorched chocolate.  It was pretty embarrassing - how do you screw that up?  I think I may have even ruined the bowl.  

I've been demoted to dishwasher. 

 

Thursday, April 5, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 5


Day 05 — This is embarrassing but on average I cause the toilet to overflow about this many times a year because of deposits I made…

I'm way, way too boring.  This has happened maybe... twice in my life?  Seriously - how often does this happen to anyone??

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

30 Days of Honesty (and one dare) - Day 4


Day 04 — A blogger friend I’ve known for over five years told me she has been blogging anonymously all this time and most of what I know about her is her fantasy. My reaction to the news is…

"I knew it!!!"

Sadly, I'm naturally mistrustful and self-protective.  I assume the worst while secretly hoping that I'm wrong.  I'm not usually wrong.  Very few people sneak by the defenses, and those few who do rarely disappoint me.  Still, when it does happen, I'm mostly angry with myself for believing whatever misguided, naive thing I believed about them.  That they were good, or genuine, or loved me for who I was.

Damaged goods, much?