Mommy's back to work.

My first week back at work is on the books.  It was hard.  Really, really hard.  On me, I mean.  I've spent a lot of time crying, looking at his pictures, thinking about him, and crying more.  I hate this.  I hate everything about it.

Right now, Aidan is with his dad Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and at school Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I don't know which is harder on me, but the boy seems equally happy with both.  He's such an easy kid. 

The M/W/F setup is tough because i hate handing him over to Tom knowing that I'd rather keep him with me.  I hate knowing he's home and I'm not.  It sucks.

The Tues/Thurs setup is a little easier, if only because he goes to school a few minutes from my office, and I can visit him during lunch. 

We're still working to get into a routine.  Bonus points if I eventually stop feeling like I want to die every time I leave for work.