Day 04 — A blogger friend I’ve known for over five years told me she has been blogging anonymously all this time and most of what I know about her is her fantasy. My reaction to the news is…
"I knew it!!!"
Sadly, I'm naturally mistrustful and self-protective. I assume the worst while secretly hoping that I'm wrong. I'm not usually wrong. Very few people sneak by the defenses, and those few who do rarely disappoint me. Still, when it does happen, I'm mostly angry with myself for believing whatever misguided, naive thing I believed about them. That they were good, or genuine, or loved me for who I was.
Damaged goods, much?
Updated List of Participants (Courtesy of Tom Baker):
Cherlyn Cochrane, Aurathena, TheFerkel, Prysmatique, AnonymousBurn, Caroline, Koi, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Everything L&L, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Princesa Musang, DLonelyStar, TemptingSweets99, LJ, Terriblethinker, Marliz3e, Sleep and Salami, Primadonna Zel, Sofia, Happyhippierose, Melanie and Sajeev.
Cherlyn Cochrane, Aurathena, TheFerkel, Prysmatique, AnonymousBurn, Caroline, Koi, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Everything L&L, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Princesa Musang, DLonelyStar, TemptingSweets99, LJ, Terriblethinker, Marliz3e, Sleep and Salami, Primadonna Zel, Sofia, Happyhippierose, Melanie and Sajeev.
Its hard to trust people in general, and I think we all are inclined to never fully trust the people we talk to online, it's just safety precautions I suppose.
ReplyDeleteexactly. I think the internet just adds a layer of mistrust on my side.
Deleteyes..being mistrustful is one of the protective mechanisms we develop, following repeated hurts..it is only natural
ReplyDeleteI think so too, but I'd still like to try to change it about myself.
DeleteI don't think you need to worry Caroline. You've only been blogging for two years!
ReplyDeletei need to start creating an elaborate crazy backstory so that five years from now, the super secret life is MINE!
DeleteYeah, I feel where you're coming from. But don't be mistrustful of everybody! The internetz = a place where people can be themselves as well as that place where we can live our fantasies. Not everybody's bad, and I think sometimes its nicer to open up in the hopes that you've found something genuine. Even if it only works 3 times out of 10, I think its worth it.
ReplyDeleteThat's a really good perspective. I don't know why it's so hard for me let go of my doubt.
DeleteI read your answer and then flipped back to my, "Oh, hell, well everyone lies now and again..." and I thought to myself - "FUCKING HELL MEGAN!" This may be why I haven't had successful honest relationships. Damn!
ReplyDeletePS - I am totally who I say I am but then you'll learn more about that next month when I moved into your basement!
LOL!
DeleteIt's Rose I'm worried about. I suspect she may be an exotic dancer by night.