Day 07 — I went to see a psychic, and was given the opportunity to ask three questions – I would ask……
1) Does my baby grow up to be happy? Really, that's sort of all I care about these days. I'm so afraid that decisions I make now will make him miserable later on. And, to be sure, they will - but I hope it's the "I'm miserable because you posted too many pictures of yourself smooching my smoochable cheeks on facebook" stuff, and not the "I'm miserable because I'm ever so emotionally damaged thanks to your atrocious parenting" stuff.
2) Is buying this house going to financially ruin us? We think we can afford it. We're pretty sure we can afford it. But I can't help but feel like the other shoe will drop at some point. Home ownership has always felt so unattainable that it feels like we're doing something wrong by embarking on this journey.
3) Will I ever be happy again? Life isn't very happy right now. I hope this is more of a bump in the road than the new normal. I adore my husband and son, but life in general is crushing the air out of my lungs every day.
Very good questions - things I'm sure I'd be thinking about too if I was in your position.
ReplyDeleteThe last question, I actually asked a psychic that once. He answered that I would be when I realized my happiness isn't dependent on how the world views me but instead of how I view me.
Not sure if I believed him, or if that's applicable to you - but its food for thought.
I'm sure you'll find happiness again though :)
It is food for thought. I'm not sure what's standing in the way of my happiness, whether it's my perception of me, or the world's, or something else entirely. I both hope it gets better and know I need to do something to make it so.
DeleteI'm sorry to hear that life is crushing you. I hope things get better for you.
ReplyDeleteYou have a wonderful family, and are on the verge of great, new things. I really hope that they'll work out. Maybe consulting a financial advisor would help you make a decision on the house. My parents were uncertain, but the decision has since panned out to be a great one. Both financially and because the change in scenery really helped my mom get through a bad time in her own life.
ReplyDeleteI think the house is going to be a really good thing for us, just like it was for your mom. It's just a big, scary step...
DeleteOnly time will tell, Caroline. Luckily, your best friend is about to move into your home and can hopefully help figure out all 3 of these questions.
ReplyDeletethank god for best friends, seriously. I'd be lost without mine.
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