Babies R REGISTERED

We did it.  We registered.  We officially exist at Babies R Us.  We also have a smaller registry at amazon for the "gear" that is far cheaper to buy online than in stores.

Tom was amazingly into registering.  He was our designated scanner and only pretended to shoot other shoppers with his scan gun twice.  That place has a lot of ground to cover, and I gave up before we scanned any of the feeding/medicinal/infant care/safety stuff.  That will have to be another day, when I am armed with someone who already has a kid.  A lot of that crap looks useless, and I will admit to having no idea what I need.

They gave us a goody bag, which really amounts to some magazines, some coupons, and a teeny diaper.  Tom loved the teeny diaper.  I love Tom.

It's been a big week all the way around, actually.  The stroller will get here on Tuesday.  The crib has been ordered by grandma and will arrive anytime between next Thurs and the following Tues. 

Moving quickly, but with Tom likely to be teaching high school this fall, we won't have the time to devote to baby gear research after summer.  Plus, we're mad excited, yo.

15 weekish me

Oh.  So I guess that's why everyone at work knows...

Showering

At 15 weeks pregnant, a baby shower is the last thing that should be on any woman's mind.  But The Bump's messageboards seem to be awash with posts about "too many people offering to host showers" and "too many people to invite to only three showers" and "why won't they start planning my shower now?!" posts.

Got me thinking.

I don't foresee myself having one.  My family is 1500 miles away - too far away to reasonably plan or attend a shower.  And lacking a superclose "we've known each other since we were FETUSES!" best female friend, I can't realistically picture any of my girlfriends throwing one.  And my guy friends - well, let's not go there.

So we're back to "I don't think we'll have one" which leads me to "should I really bother registering?"  And the awkward conversations have started too.  When people find out that I'm pregnant, apparently they don't know WHAT to say, so they ask when my shower is.  What am I supposed to say?  I usually just say that I don't know of anything being planned, and then change the subject.  One girl today took it upon herself to try to convince me that a shower would be "soooooooooo fun!" and I'd get "so much great stuff for the baby!"  Uh, I didn't DECLINE a shower, I'm just not aware of anyone planning to give us one.

So - to register, or not to register?  I've been really really down in the dumps lately about the whole "having a baby" thing.  I'm in primo "you look fat, not pregnant" stage and loathe catching sight of myself in the mirror.  My husband offered to take me to BRU over the weekend to start a registry, thinking it would cheer me up, but I feel like there isn't any real reason to register.  I have a list of things that I need to buy between now and January, and it's really my responsibility to get them - no?

13w4d OB visit

Another monthly visit on the books.  My office is sneaky about making sure you see all of the doctors - they don't bother to tell you who you'll be seeing, so you just get to be randomly shocked at whoever walks through the door.  I had Belden last time, and liked him a lot, and will continue to stubbornly call him "my" doctor.

Today I got to meet Dr. McConnell.  How shall I put this nicely?  Ick.  Baby and I were not fans.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Got there nice and early and sat around the waiting room, listening to the far-too-loud TV and trying not to look like an unwed teen, as I was the youngest looking mom in the room by about 10 years and the only one there without a man.  I maintain that Tom does not need to be there to watch me pee in a cup.  I'll probably bring him along way later on, when they're doing exciting things like checking for dilation and whatnot - but maybe not even then.  I'd like him to come to the anatomy ultrasound, but seeing as he didn't make it to the NT scan, my hopes aren't uber high.

Anyway, the nurse called me back, let me pee (can I please just say thank you to my office for providing GIANT, WIDE cups for this?  Thank you, office.  Some of us are terrible at the old PIAC routine.) - negative for whatever badness they're checking for, weighed me (1st tri gain of 3lbs total.  Damn.  I was hoping to skate by without a gain like those lucky jerks we all hear about but don't personally know), took my blood pressure (which has been measuring great in the office and atrocious at home/in pharmacies/in grocery stores/everywhere else old people congregate.  I have no idea, and as you're about to see, this genius was no help on anything.), and listened to the baby's heartbeat (173.  What a champ.)

So now I wait for the doctor.  Please be Belden, please be Belden, please be Belden.  Crap.  Some lady.  And her handshake sucks.  I'm judging already.  She tells me that she really has nothing to tell me.  I kind of tend to disagree, but I say this is fine, because I have questions.  A list of questions, actually.

Me: Can you please review my bloodwork with me?  I had the blood drawn while I was with another OB's practice, and then I came here, and long story short, no one has ever reviewed them with me.
Her: Oh.  Yeah.  Everything's fine.  CF and SMA tests look fine.  You're RH- but that doesn't really mean anything.
Me: Doesn't that mean a shot?
Her: oh, yeah.  A shot.  But not today.  Later.
Me: Okay, how much later?  Like, 28 weeks?
Her: yeah, that's about right.

I'm bowled over by her "explanations."  Please, not so much medical jargon.  I'm having so much trouble following you...  /eyeroll

Me: I'm having a lot of back pain
Her: oh.  why?
Me: well it's in my chart.  I have spinal issues.  I'm working with a spinal specialist, but he's not sure what he can/can't do now that I'm pregnant.  I'm totally miserable though.  He suggested injections.  Are those okay?
Her: Sure, I don't care.
Me: O-kay.  So they're medically safe?
Her: Oh sure.  You're in the second trimester.  You can do pretty much whatever.  Hey, if you need to go to the dentist, you should.
Me: um, okay.  How about epidurals?  My first OB said she didn't think I could get one because of my spinal problem.
Her: oh, they'll probably still try.
Me: I'll be honest, I'm kind of panicking at the thought of no epidural.  If it's not going to happen, I'd like to prepare ahead of time.
Her: Oh, they'll probably at least try.  Maybe they can put it in higher up! 

Thank god ONE of us cares.  It's a good thing I'm in the 2nd Tri, and can go back to shooting heroin.  Life's about to get waaaaay funner.

Me: how about this fragile X testing.  Do I need that?  It's in all these pamphlets, but my old OB didn't mention it.
Her: Nah, you're young
Me: Can you please explain what it is?
Her: (all exasperated, at this point), well, it's in the pamphlet.  I don't see why you'd do it.
Me: Yeah.  I think I'd like to do it please.
SILENCE.  She does nothing...
Me: Can you write up the order?
Her: oh.  yeah.  i don't think you need to bother, but here, take this to the lab.  It's one vial of blood.  (Lie.  2 vials.  whatever.)

Finally, I **have** to know what the NT scan theatrics were about

Me: So, did the report come in on my NT scan and bloodwork?
Her: Oh, yeah.  It's pretty much just what they told you.
Me: okay, well, no one told me anything.  Does it look okay?
Her: Oh.  Well yeah.  It's reassuring.
Me: Is reassuring good?  Can you please just say good?
Her: We call the results of those tests "reassuring"
Me: does that mean bad?
Her: no.  just "reassuring"
(I have decided at this point that I hate her)
Me: okay.  well uh, I'm... reassured.
Her: did they say boy or girl?
Me: they didn't say ANYTHING
Her: oh.  because I don't know either.  They might tell you at the 20 week scan.  Don't forget though, because they won't write it on the report.
Me: Okay.  I'll do what I can not to "forget" the gender of my first child.

Does this happen?  Seriously?

Me: Will they know if we're looking at an NTD after our 20 week scan?
Her: Yeah, they should.  Why would you even be worried?
Me: Also in my chart.  I have an NTD.
Her: Oh.  Well they're so rare in the general population, what are the chances?  I mean, you're so young...
Me: Yeah.  Well they happen.  Like, you know, to me.
Her: Yeah, you're doing great though.
Me: well, aside from living in constant pain, yeah.  I'm pretty lucky though, mine was so minor.  We're obviously concerned if the baby is at an increased risk.
Her: Why would the baby be at an increased risk?
Me: I have an NTD.
Her: Oh yeah.  Right.  Well you're so young.  I'm sure it's fine.

I'm starting to wonder how young my chart says that I am.  Is 26 really that obscenely young as pregnant women go?

I had other questions, but decided to abandon them.  This doctor is a waste of my time and is not helping to reassure me at all.  I want Belden back. 

Fast forward 6 months.  I swear, this idiot will end up delivering my child.

My next appointment is in 4 weeks, at 17w4d.  At that point we can TALK about scheduling my anatomy scan.  Great.  I'll be 25 weeks before we get this thing done.

The only good part, aside from my baby's rockstar heartbeat, was that the Ultrasound tech from earlier this week, who scared the living daylights out of me, is getting written up.  I'm kind of unenthused about going back there for my 20w scan.  But what can you do?

The Blooper Reel

Not every picture we get from the ultrasound techs is frameworthy.  Take these, from this morning.

Aside from general blurriness (caused in part by the fact that I'm not scanning these, I'm photographing them with my phone), I'm to believe that my child is either a) a thumb sucker - or b) Gonzo

This doesn't look like a baby to me, so much.  But it's a slightly less disturbing thumb sucker picture.

My baby?  Or Mr. Peanut?  The world may never know...

NT Scan

What a rollercoaster.  I should start by saying I think everything is perfectly fine.

Woke up early this morning to the panicky thought that I forgot my doctor's order for the NT scan and bloodwork at my office.  Eep.  Drove to my office (turns out there is AMPLE parking at 6:30am) and picked it up, and was back on my way to the hospital for my 7:45am appointment.  It's 11 miles away.  I have *tons* of time...  right??

Wrong.  I show up at 7:45 on the dot.  OHTHANKGOD I wasn't late.  I don't want to be rescheduled!  Tons of paperwork and then I wait.  Waiting is the worst. I have to pee and I'm hungry and I'm nervous and I wish my husband was with me.

Finally, my turn.  Into the exam room, up on the table, pulling down my pants and - crap - what possessed me to wear leopard print underwear today?  And would a trim have killed me?  Sigh.

The tech starts ultrasounding away, and I gush over everything (OMG it's waving!  OMG it's bouncing around in there!  OMG thumbsucking!  OMG it's kicking the hell out of me, why can't I feel that?).  We watch the heart beat for a while (164bpm) and she measures CRL about 15 times.  Baby is measuring 2 days behind.  I can live with that.  Tech keeps calling it a "he" - does she see something?  Or is that a generic "he"?  She won't say.

30 minutes later, it's rather obvious that baby will NOT position him/herself properly for the NT measurement.  No amount of poking, prodding, shaking, or tapping is changing this.  She let me pee, thinking this might make a difference, but it didn't.  Finally she gives up and calls in someone else.  The babymover.
Baby's having none of this.  15 minutes later, I'm starting to wonder if it's possible to just flat out fail this test because my baby is being a stinker.  All of this poking has given my baby a seriously violent case of hiccups, which look totally adorable to me, but are apparently even more annoying to the ultrasound techs than a non-cooperative baby.

In the next 15 minutes, they're able to measure the NT twice.  They write it on my chart, but they're not telling me anything like "bad" or "good."  I'm dying to know.  They're not dying to tell me.

They usher me into a little room, telling me only that "a doctor will come talk to you" and leave me there for another 10 minutes.  I ask if everything is okay, and they just say that I should wait for the doctor.  Longest 10 minutes of my life.  I think about everything I could have done and how I could have failed to protect my baby.  Stupid, I realize.  If something is wrong, it's not because of anything I did.  But still.  I'm too afraid to call my husband because I have no idea what to say yet.  "how did it go, honey?"  "I literally do not know."

Finally, the second ultrasound tech (not the doctor) comes back to get me and says "congratulations, things look good, here's where to go to get your blood drawn, and here's when you should come back for your second blood draw."

So I have no idea what all the theatrics were about.   The NT measurement was 2.4mm today (13w).  I'm guessing that's fine?  I read that it can be up to 2.8mm by 13w6d.  So I'm going to have to assume Peanut's fine, and Lankenau houses the most enigmatic and terrifying ultrasound techs in the populated world.

Meet 13 week Peanut.

Peanut the Alien Face :)

Peanut hiding Peanut's nuchal fold...

Peanut kicking the ever-loving heck out of mommy's inner regions.  Mommy fears for the future.

Parenting

Tom and I often wonder what we'll be like as parents.  How much of what "sounds right" now will still be in the mix a year from now.

I think that the different communities (and, God, in some cases they're more like SUBCULTURES) on The Bump raise questions that would otherwise never have come up.  Cosleeping, babywearing, BLW, BF on demand.  Holy crap.  You have to make decisions on how to be a parent. 

- Cosleeping.  More like room-sharing, for us.  The intent for now is not to have the baby in our bed, but in a cosleeper of some sort right next to my side of the bed.  It just makes sense to me - at least in the early weeks.  I plan to breastfeed on-demand, and god help me if you think I'm interested in getting up to walk to peanut's room every 2 hours.  I like the Fisher Price Rock and Play sleeper and have heard rave reviews, so that's likely what we'll get.  And once peanut is eating less at night, Peanut goes in Peanut's crib.  It honestly never occurred to me that people did anything BUT this.

- babywearing.  I never would have thought of this.  It seemed kind of crunchy granola for my tastes.  But the more I looked into it, the more sense it made.  We have a Moby (Tom swears he'll die before wearing that) and a Lillebaby Everywear (more Tom's style) and I'm committed to wearing as much as I can.  I think this (esp the Moby) will be awesome around the house.  Peanut shouldn't just be left to lie around alone while mommy and daddy attempt to get things done. 

BF on demand - Not much to say about this one.  I believe that a baby is capable of eating when hungry.  Since our highest hopes are that peanut will be having breastmilk only (if only I could actually control that, right?), and breastmilk is digested so quickly, it makes sense to me to feed Peanut when Peanut's hungry.  (Side note.  I'm not insane.  If my baby needs formula, my baby will get formula.)

Which sort of naturally led me to Baby-Led-Weaning (BLW).  I had to sell Tom on this one.  It seemed unnatural to him (and me, at first, if we're being honest).  My first thought was, we should make Peanut's baby food.  The jarred stuff is pretty wretched, and even though it's convenient, it really doesn't do much to get Peanut ready for "real" food.  Then, I was introduced by some great Bumpies to BLW.  It all clicked into place.  Food.  The same food on my plate.  Softened, maybe.  But not mashed or pureed.  Peanut gets to experience color, flavor, shape, size, texture - and Peanut gets to decide what peanut likes.  One thing that I read that's stuck with me is that a baby should learn to know if he likes turkey, but not potatoes.  Feeding him jarred turkeyandmashedpotatoes doesn't accomplish this in the slightest.  Especially given that it tastes like neither turkey nor potatoes.  I just really like the idea of Peanut being an active part of learning about food - rather than just having slop shoveled down his/her throat.

- signing - seems like a no-brainer to me.  Baby who can express himself = happier baby.

These are a few of the many "will we/won't we" discussions that Tom and I have started

I think it's important to start thinking about how you want to raise your kid.  I definitely want to find a pedi that will support our decisions, especially the more "out there" ones like BLW.

But like I said - I'll be really interested to come back to this blog a year from now and see what we're actually doing. 

Pregnant Women are Smug

This travels the message boards all the time.  I have no idea why I find it so hilarious, but I do.

For the record, We will know, but we're not telling ;-)


Click for Video

199...

Holy crap, we're under 200 days.  Wow.

Furniture...

We picked out our furniture!

We already have a rocking recliner (not quite so dark in person - more of a tan color)

We also picked out a dresser, wardrobe, and shelving from Ikea.

And a crib, found all over the place, but we'll probably get the best deal at Walmart.